Secrets

a short story by Bron Trathen

Carla

I had kept it from him for years. My life revolved around hurriedly hiding the bottles as I heard him drive into the garage downstairs. I’d shower, clean my teeth, and come out sparkling.

Today, when I heard him drive up, he was at least an hour earlier than usual. I was trying to get the bottle open when I heard the electronic garage doors. That instant the cork came out and the bottle, set precariously on the edge of the kitchen bench, toppled, spilling wine all over me and the floor. The bottle smashed, scattering glass everywhere.

I left the mess and raced into the bathroom. One look in the mirror at my bloodshot eyes and dishevelled hair made me panic. I jumped into the shower still in my clothes. As I frantically got out of my wet clothes, I heard the downstairs door from the garage open.

‘Darling, where are you?’ I could hear his booming voice over the shower.

‘I’m in the shower…will be out in a minute.’ I shampooed and rinsed my hair in record time, turned off the water, grabbed a towel and dried myself. From the bathroom I called out.

‘Dan. You’re home early. What’s happening?’

‘Oh, it’s Thursday. I play tennis and forgot my whites.’

‘Forgot it was Thursday.’ I yelled back. Oh shit! The bottles! Where did I put them.

‘Carla!’ His accusing tone shook the walls. ‘What the hell’s happened here?’

‘Sorry? What darling?’

‘The wine and glass all over the floor.’

God. What am I going to say? Helly? Yeah. Good old Helly.

‘Oh, Helly came to celebrate and she dropped the bottle, when she tried to open it. She’s gone to buy another.’

‘God, it stinks!’

‘Hope you wont be late. I’ve asked her for dinner.’ I can hear him opening and shutting drawers.

‘Carla, Bloody hell. Where’re my whites?

‘Oh, they’re in the sports cupboard.’

‘I can’t see them.’

‘Just next to the dirty clothes bag.’ He always does this.
‘Ah! Okay, got them. What are you celebrating?’

‘I got an interview for that job.’

Shit. I’ve got to get those bottles. I think I left them in a box on the garbage bin in the garage.

I dragged on my new jeans and t-shirt, threw the wet clothes into the washing machine, and ran barefoot down the back stairs. I could hear the shower in the bathroom next to the rumpus room. He must be going to change here before going on to tennis. God, I hope Helly’s home and will cover for me. What time is it? 5.30pm. Wish he’d hurry up and leave. Can’t risk him hearing me on the phone. Ah! Great! There’s the box.

I lifted the box with the half-dozen empty wine bottles off the garbage and placed it behind the storeroom door next to a number of other boxes filled with empty wine bottles.

No one ever goes there. It’s mainly filled with my mum’s stuff. She didn’t want to be bothered with a large house and unruly garden so she moved to a flat. I miss the old home. When we were little, Tess and I would spend most of our time in the garden.

Back in the bathroom I put on a little foundation and a touch of lipstick. I gave my hair another towel, and slipped on my latest acquisition: high heeled sandals. They were a consolation prize for losing my job.

As Dan came out of the study in his whites, I grabbed him and put my arms around his neck, confident I smelt good.

‘Isn’t it wonderful, Darling.’ Dan absently kissed me on the cheek and picked up his keys off the hall table.

‘I’m off.’

‘What time will you be back for dinner?’

‘Oh, the usual. Round 8.00.’

‘Great.’ I rushed into the sitting room as I heard his car engine turn over. Please Helly be home and please, please come over.

‘Helly’s Haven.’

‘Oh Helly. It’s me. You got to do me a big favour.’

‘Not another one.’

‘I know, I owe you, but this is important. Can you come over now?’

‘Now!’

‘I’ll cook a great dinner.’

‘Come on, Carla. What’s this about?
‘I told Dan you were coming to celebrate my job interview.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s hard to explain. I’ll tell you when you get here. PLEASE, Helly.

‘Oh, I guess it beats watching TV and now I’m curious.’

‘Oh, Helly, can you buy a couple of bottles of good red.

‘Sure. I’ll be there in about an hour.’

‘Great. Love you. Kiss. Kiss.’

With a sense of foreboding, I busied myself in the kitchen, filling up a large plate with things for an anti pasta: dolmathes, roasted capsicum, artichoke hearts, olives and fetta cheese.

I need a glass. Wine. Where did I see some wine? Now I remember. There are some bottles in Dan’s office: gifts from appreciative clients.

Once I had a glass in my hand I could feel myself relax. I ordered Portuguese chicken from down the road. Then started preparing vegetables to roast.

I went to pour another glass and realized the bottle was nearly empty. At that moment I heard the front door.

Great! Helly looks gorgeous as always. She works out at the gym as well as doing an early morning run most days. She says it clears her head. I should do something like that as well.

In her hand were two wine bottles.

Thank Goodness.

I took them from her outstretched hands, went through to the kitchen. As I went to put the bottles on the bench, I just managed to stop myself falling. Helly grabbed my arm.

‘Carla, are you all right?’

Concentrating hard, 1 picked up the anti pasta, a couple of glasses and a corkscrew. As I walked onto the deck I called out

‘I’m fine. Bring a bottle with you.’

With a concerned look on her face, Helly came out on to the deck, kindly poured the wine and handed me a glass.

‘Hope you enjoy this one.’

‘Thanks.’ I replied turning away to look out at the changing colour on the water.
We said nothing for a while. Then I broke the awkward silence. Looking at her new tan,

‘You’ve been to the beach.’

Helly bent over to look at her long legs.

‘I’ve been running down at the beach before work now that the weather is warming up. Why don’t you join me next week? I usually go early on Tuesday morning.’

‘Yes, I should. Thanks for the offer.’

‘Dan…pretty busy these days, is he?’ Helly was looking at me intently.

I wasn’t sure what she was getting at.

‘Yes, he is but he’ll be late tonight because he’s playing tennis.

‘Why don’t you play, you were always a good player,’

‘Oh Dan just plays with his work mates. It’s a boy thing.’

Helly probably thinks I’m getting too fat: all these references to exercise.

‘So, what’s the job.’ With one eye on me, Helly helps herself to the anti pasta.

‘What do you mean?’

Helly immediately shot me one of her looks.

‘The job… the interview you’re going to. What is it?’

‘Oh! This new job: Head of Public Relations for AGH.

‘That’s great! So we do need to celebrate. But what’s the urgency about coming tonight?’

Okay, now I have to try to make it sound normal.

‘I just didn’t want Dan to know I was opening a bottle to celebrate on my own.’

‘What’s that mean?’ Helly had a habit of boring into me with her black eyes. In the most off-handed way possible. I said,

‘I was trying to open a bottle and it spilt all over me, and the floor. Glass went everywhere. This was just as Dan came in to get changed for tennis.’

‘Is that all?’

I looked at her, embarrassed.

‘I know it sounds silly but I told him you had opened it and that you’d gone out to get another.’

‘Oh. I see. Why’d you have to say that?’

‘I don’t know. It was the first thing that came into my head. Dan’s a bit intolerant of my not having a job. He’s been especially difficult since I finished up at Ballast.’

‘Does he know you’ve got an interview on Thursday?’

‘I told him today. I said you were staying for dinner. He said he’d be home by 8.00.’

What is she thinking? I’d better stop before I say too much. Does she believe me?

Helly poured herself another drink and ate some fetta.

‘Something smells good,’ she said looking towards the kitchen.

At that moment the front door bell rang. I took my glass and went to answer it.
I opened the door. Suddenly everything was a blur. Mike seemed to reel in front of me. I managed to say, ‘Thanks Mike. What’s the damage?’ pay him, take the chicken and shut the door. For a couple of minutes I leant against it, my head spinning. Then I made my way to the kitchen and put the chicken in the warming oven with the plates.

I gulped down some wine, grabbed some more dolmathes and went out onto the deck. Helly was standing with her glass in her hand, looking out over the sea. It had taken on a silvery look as the west still had quite a glow. The garden lights had come on casting a white light over everything.

‘That was Mike with the Portuguese chicken. I’ll serve up now. Have some more of these.’ I passed Helly the plate of anti pasta and was certain my words were becoming slurred.

‘Do you want some help in the kitchen,’ offered Helly with her mouth full.

‘No, stay here and enjoy the view. It’s lovely tonight. We’ll eat out here if you like.’

‘Carla, it’s great. I’m looking forward to it. Are you sure you’re okay?’

‘Fine.’ I called out as I walked uncertainly back to the kitchen.

From the kitchen I heard the familiar sound of the electronic garage doors. Dan was home. Helly was leaning over the deck railing, and I heard Dan’s voice as he came up the deck stairs. Gingerly, I picked up the tray with all the plates and cutlery and carried it out to the table. Dan came over and gave me a peck and then gave Helly a hug. I left them chatting and went back to get the food.

Finally, we were eating. Both Helly and Dan seemed to be enjoying the meal. I pushed the food round the plate. I had lost my appetite and had some cramps in my stomach.

Dan looked up. ‘Carla, could we have some more wine?’

‘Yes, of course. Where is it?’

‘There are a number of bottles in my office in the stationery cupboard.’ He turned to Helly.

‘Some of my clients are very generous with their gifts.’

‘You can never have too much wine,’ Helly replied.

What does she mean? Does she think I drink too much?

I went into Dan’s office. Helly was asking Dan about his job. As an Environmental Lawyer he gets lots of clients fighting large corporations for compensation.

God I hope there are some left because I’ve drunk quite a few and haven’t had time to replace them. Ah, here we are. Two left.

I took both bottles out onto the deck along with the bottle opener and handed them to Dan. As he took the opener he turned to Helly.

‘I heard about your little incident with the wine earlier.’

Helly stopped eating for a moment looking confused and then it dawned.

Did Dan notice her falter?

‘Oh. Yes. I think it had some condensation and slipped out of my hand.’

‘You always finish work early.’ Dan took his glass and drank. Helly looked across at me.

‘Well, I’d been to a meeting near here and it wasn’t worth going back to the office, and Carla had rung to tell me about the job so I thought I’d surprise her with a bottle to celebrate.’

I can't look up. She is such a good liar. Thank you, thank you, Helly.

Dan smiled and looked towards me. I helped myself to more vegies, even though I hadn’t finished the ones on my plate.

‘Great to have thoughtful friends, Darling.’ He touched my arm and I managed a brilliant smile.

‘Well, Helly knows how much this job means to me.’ I said.

What’s he thinking?

‘Tell me more about the job.’ Dan filled our glasses. I took a mouthful of vegetables and chicken, forcing myself to chew and try to remember what I had told Helly.

‘It’s in public relations with a company you’ve had dealings with Dan.’

‘Who’s that?’

‘AGH.’

‘Ah! A nice squeaky clean petro-chemical company. You’ll make them look innocent, of course.’

‘Well, in the last 10 years they’ve had a good track record.’

Helly looked at me and then turned to Dan.

‘I heard they cleaned up their act. Joe, a colleague of mine did a piece on them a while ago.’

Dan smirked.

‘Yeah. I’d like to read the small print and a few of those pieces that don’t make the front page. Carla’s a little idealistic you might say when it comes to telling the story.’

He’s not talking about that. What’s he mean? He has that accusing look on his face, and Helly doesn’t understand what he means.

‘You like your rose-tinted glasses, don’t you darling?’ Dan was trying to smooth things over. Helly gave me a wary look. My mind was spinning and I felt hot and sweaty. Dan continued in a more jovial way.

‘Carla, did Kay think it a good idea to go for the job so soon?’

‘What? Big Red!’ I glared at Dan.

Helly stared at me a little puzzled.

‘Oh. Helly. Kay’s been helping me with my new image.’ I went on hurriedly.

Why did he have to bring Kay into the conversation? I have to get away.

‘New image.’ Dan scoffed putting his head back and rolling his eyes.

I got up from the table, poured more wine into my glass, gulped it down, then collected the empty plates. Helly was trying to change the subject.

‘Dan, have you had anything to do with Webber’s claim against that large mining company? Apparently they are settling out of court.’

Dan was getting a little drunk now. He turned to Helly.

‘You journos don’t miss anything do you? Who’s on that?’

‘Jim Soames. He does a lot of investigative stuff on the mining industry.’

My legs were shaking as I carried the plates into the kitchen and put them on the bench. There was a thump at the back of my head. Things became blurred and distant. I heard a loud noise, could see the kitchen turning upside down and was thinking the ceiling needed a new coat of paint. I thought I heard Dan call out.

Why did he have to start talking about Kay?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Helly

‘Carla! Carla! Are you all right.’

Dan was kneeling beside Carla, who was unconscious on the kitchen floor.

‘Dan, shall I call an ambulance?’ I said, fumbling in my bag for my mobile.

‘Let’s get her into the bedroom, Helly. Could you help me with her? We’ll put her in the spare. It’s closest.

‘Okay. This is not that easy.’

‘Dead weight. And she’s put on quite a few pounds. Okay. Here we are.’

We put Carla on the bed and Dan sat next to her, feeling her forehead and taking her pulse. I went out into the kitchen to phone for an ambulance. When I returned, Dan had a damp washer across Carla’s forehead. He was looking forlorn.

‘The ambulance will be here in about 10 minutes. She seemed a little out of sorts earlier today,’ I ventured.

‘Yes. Helly. Things have been difficult for her.’

‘I guess losing the job was a disappointment.’

‘The circumstances were not so nice.’ Dan got up off the bed and walked towards the door.

‘I’ll turn the front lights on for the ambulance. Thanks for your help Helly.’ He turned away from me and walked down the internal stairs to the outdoor entertaining area.

I sat in a chair opposite Carla, straining to hear the approach of the ambulance. In no time I heard Dan giving directions. He showed the ambos into the room. They checked her vital signs, and then placed her on a trolley. They were quick and efficient and asked us few questions. Dan got in the back of the ambulance with Carla and I rode up front. We made our way easily through the thinning traffic.

On our arrival at the hospital a number of white coats met us and steered Carla in through emergency. She was still unconscious. A tall young doctor of eastern appearance took us aside and asked Dan some more questions regarding Carla’s medical history. Then we were ushered to an adjoining hallway.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

We’d been sitting in silence in the sanitised hallway just outside the emergency ward of the local hospital for what seemed ages. Dan turned towards me. He seemed to be groping for the right words.

‘You see, Helly. The lies and the make believe are wearing a bit thin. I have to have some time to myself to get the strength to deal with her without losing it.’

I knew I couldn’t look at him directly as I felt complicit in some way. ‘But can’t you talk to her. Tell her exactly what you told me.’

‘It’s no good. It’s her addiction talking. She’ll tell you what you want to hear and then as soon as your back’s turned…’ He drifted off.

‘But surely you can do something. She’ll listen to you. She adores you.’

‘I’m afraid the only thing she adores is her hit of alcohol.’

‘Who’s this Kay person you mentioned?’

Dan pulled a face and studied the ceiling for a minute.

‘I shouldn’t have said anything.’

‘When did you confront her last?’

‘The last episode,’ Dan muttered.

‘What do you mean?’

He got up, walked over to the dispenser, dropped some coins in and punched a number. There was a clatter. He bent over and picked up a can of drink. He looked drained and very dejected. He had developed a slight tick just above his left eye. On his return he sat and stared at the can, turning it around and around in his hands.

‘Carla probably told you about the problem at her last job.’

‘Yeah, she told me she had a personality conflict with the boss.’ I watched Dans face cloud. I could see his jaw muscles tighten and he pushed his fingers into the soft aluminium can.

‘Well, you might say that, but in fact she started drinking at lunch times and often missed out on meetings.’

‘Did Carla tell you this?’

‘Oh, no. She denied it was a problem. Kay, the counsellor who was employed by the company, rang me and told me they needed my cooperation.’

‘What did you have to do?’

‘Oh, go along with their demand for her to detox.’

‘And did she?’

‘Yeah. They said they would organise for her to do a stint for a week or so.’

‘Wow! That’s really good.’

‘They acknowledged that the job could be stressful.’

‘Ah. I remember. But she didn’t tell me about that. When was it?’

‘About nine month’s ago.’

‘Oh, she did tell me something about going to some training program in Tassie for a couple of weeks.’

Dan laughed. ‘You could say that’s what it was.’

‘How was she when she got back?’

‘She seemed fine to me but six weeks later they brought her in and said they had to let her go. Kay told me she was caught drinking at work and had a stash of bottles.’

‘Poor Carla. Why?’

‘I don’t know. I just don’t know.’ He shifted uncomfortably.

I didn’t know what to say. I could see the first light of dawn through the window.
I wondered if Dan knew Carla had used me to cover for her a number of times. I felt guilty but couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I still felt some loyalty to Carla. Dan seemed to care but I just felt uneasy.

‘What are you going to do now?’ I said.

Dan just shook his head. At that moment the Emergency doors swung open and the doctor who had admitted Carla came towards us with a very business-like look on his face. We stood up.

‘How is she?’ Dan’s face darkened with concern.

The doctor took his stethoscope from around his neck.

‘She ‘s suffering from the effects of long-term alcohol abuse, and has been bleeding internally. We’ve stabilised her for now and she’s sleeping. I suggest you go home and catch some sleep. We’ll see how she is in the morning.’

Dan didn’t ask to see her. He just nodded and we turned, walked out into the cool early morning and hailed a cab. The taxi dropped me off first. Without even taking my clothes off, I got under my doona, covered my head and tried not to think of anything but blissful sleep. What a night.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Carla

I feel the wet leaves under my feet as we run down the path towards our favourite tree. It’s raining: steady fine rain. Everywhere crystal-like drops of water glisten in the morning light. The thick carpet of leaves lies sodden from the heavy rain the day before.

I feel light. If we meet the fairies, perhaps they will teach us to fly. Suddenly, my feet slide from under me. The wetness soaks my shorts. Tess is ahead of me.

‘Come on Carla. You said you’d show me the fairy circle.’

There’s a white light above me. My arm is sore. Something is sticking out and it won’t go away. The white light fades.

Now I’m leading Tess through the thick, dark green undergrowth at the bottom of the garden The harbour sparkles through the gnarled and twisted pink trunks of the Angophora trees.

‘This way, Tess. Careful.’

We come to the spot I’d found. The sandstone overhang protects it, and the trees, growing between the large sandstone rocks, keep the place shaded. Although there are lots of twigs and leaves at the entrance, the area has a floor of clean, dry white sand enclosed by lots of small rocks. It’s like an amphitheatre. This must be the place where the fairies gather; it is so perfect.

I’m bending down looking at it and Tess is pushing her way in to get a better look. I put out my right hand to push her away.

'Don’t touch it!’ I shout. Tess makes a surprised sound and there’s lots of rustling and the sound of a branch snapping. I turn and Tess isn’t there.

Everything is blurred and spinning. I can’t stop the spinning. I think I can hear a high-pitched sound. A scream. I am scrambling back up the path to the house. The scream gets louder. I want to be sick. Where’s Tess? I look up and I can see my mother running, running barefooted towards me. I fall and can’t get up. The wet leaves cling to me. I can feel my mother holding me, her sweet smell.

‘Where’s Tess, Carla? Where’s Tess!!

I’m screaming. I can hear Mummy’s heart pumping in my ear as I cling to her.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

I feel bile filling my throat. The light is white and I am in a bed. I lurch forward, spewing onto the floor. Where am I? The room rocks.

‘It’s okay Carla. You’ve had a bad dream.’

There’s an antiseptic smell and someone in white is fiddling with something above me. I can feel them touch something sticking out of my arm. My head feels like lead against the pillow. My legs are numb.

It’s dark. I’m running along the corridor. It’s a hospital. People are dying. They’ve been poisoned. It’s cancer. They won’t do anything. I can’t get to them.

‘Hello, Carla. What’d you say? It’s all right. You’re in hospital. I’m Anna. You collapsed at your home last night. You’ve been unconscious.’ A hand strokes my arm. A blurred image above me speaks.

‘I’ve given you something for the nausea. You have a drip in your arm. Yes, don’t touch it. Leave it. There, you’ll feel much better. I’ll be close by. Just press this, if you need anything.’ She shows me a small round thing with a red button. I try to sit up.

‘There, there. Lie back. It’s just a nasty dream. You’re safe here Carla.’

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

At the end of the bed I see my favourite flowers: blue Iris. The late afternoon sun intensifies the delicate colours. The door opens to Dan holding my over-night bag. He looks sad, like he’s lost someone.

‘Hi.’ He comes over and takes my hand, the one with the drip in it. ‘How are you feeling?’ He leans over and touches my forehead.

‘I’m okay. What happened?

‘Carla. You fell last night and hit your head.’

‘Oh, did I? I don’t remember.’

Dan sits on the chair next to the bed.

‘Helly was there and we thought it best to get you to the hospital.’

‘Helly? Where is she?’

‘I guess she went to work.”

‘What was Helly doing there?’

‘Remember. She’d come to dinner.’ Dan was looking at me with that look of his.
I turned away.

‘I really don’t remember anything… an’… I must’ve slipped on something.’

‘The doctor said he’d be here in a minute. You look tired.’

Dan picks up the over night bag.

I never use that stupid bag. I keep it in the storeroom.

‘Oh, I brought you a change of clothes. We didn’t have time for anything last night.’

I watch him open the bag and lift out a nightie. I never wear nighties. I wonder where he found that one. I feel sick in my stomach. Nerves I guess. I can’t think clearly. Everything’s hazy with different images. I wish he’d go away.

Dan gets up and puts things in the drawers of the bedside table. A tall dark man appears. He says hello to Dan and asks how I’m feeling. I say I feel sick in my stomach. He picks up a chart at the end of my bed and scribbles something. A nurse in white appears and he gives her some instructions. She nods, comee over and fiddles with something above my head. Then disappears again.

‘You don’t seem to have done any damage when you hit your head.’ The Doctor is reading the chart.

‘We think you may need a rest. Do you remember what happened yesterday?’

I look at him and then at Dan. They both seem very serious.

‘No. Apparently I slipped and fell and hit my head. Dan said I’ve been unconscious.’

‘Well, you have some internal bleeding as a result of too much alcohol.’

I look at him.

Not this rubbish again. They always think they know what’s wrong.

He ignores my dirty look.

‘You need to stay off the alcohol. We’ll give you something to relax you. You need time to heal. Dan tells me you’ve had some problems before. Your health is deteriorating.’

I give Dan a filthy look. He looks away. The doctor comes over and sits by the bed. ‘Is there anything you want to discuss?’

I shake my head. He continues, ‘I’ll send in one of our people who can help you organise some assistance outside the hospital. Give it a little time and you’ll feel much better.’

The doctor leaves. Dan comes over and sits on the edge of the bed. I don’t want to see his face. It has that look of ‘I told you so’ all over it.

‘The nurse said you were having a bad dream. What was that about? Do you remember?’

‘Nothing. I don’t remember dreams.’

‘Would you like me to ring Kay?’

‘Kay. What’s she got to do with it? You just want an excuse to contact her, don’t you?’

Anger flashes across his face but he just tightens his lips. ‘Thought you would prefer to see Kay rather than someone new.’

‘Why??’

‘Well, Kay said that maybe you drink more when you’re reminded of something unpleasant. Do you know what that would be?’

‘That’s rubbish. I just enjoy a few drinks. I have to have something to put up with you.’

I’m sick of him always being the ‘good’ guy. Dan sighs and got up. He picks up the empty overnight bag and leaves the room.

Everything is silent. The sun has left the room and it feels cold. I lie there trying to grab hold of images flashing through my brain. I want to sleep forever.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Helly

‘Good Morning, Green Law.’

‘Hello, my name’s Helen Rigis. I’d like to speak to Daniel Clooney.’

‘Yes, one moment.’

I heard the receptionist put down the phone and the sound of her chair being moved. I wondered why she didn’t ring through.

I heard a click and then Dan’s voice.

‘Hi, Helly. I was just on the phone to a client.’

‘Well, I got back to you a soon as I could.’

Obviously, it was about Carla but I didn’t want to ask. It’d been weeks since he rang to tell me they had put Carla into rehab. Apparently she hadn’t kicked up a stink but as he said she wasn’t very willing, and he was the bad guy as always. Carla had made no attempt to contact me. Dan had said she had no memory of our dinner. I wonder.

‘Helly. What about lunch? Your office is close by. Let’s meet at Zephyr’s?’

‘A late lunch? I have a meeting till 1. Say 1.15pm.’

‘That’s fine, Helly. I’ll see you then. Lunch is on me.’

Luckily I didn’t have any deadlines but thought I’d better clear my desk so I could get away from the meeting by one exactly.


OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Zephyr’s is one of these trendy cafés: all brown, chrome and glass. At least they had some comfortable benches. I sat at one against the wall so I could see Dan when he came in.
There was a distinct spring in his step as he turned the corner. He gave me the perfunctory kiss on the cheek and mumbled something about the specials and had I ordered. I chose the warm BBQ Octopus salad with lots of chilli and Dan settled for the Chicken Caesar. We made light-hearted small talk until they brought over our drinks. Then he became serious.

‘I guess you know why I called you.’

‘It’s about Carla?’

‘Yes, thought I’d give you an update. I’ve been a little remiss.’

‘Well, we’re all busy.’

‘Yes. Ah…Carla’s not home yet. She spent rather longer than anticipated at rehab. Now she’s staying with her Mum for a while.’

‘Oh, I thought she didn’t really see much of her mum these days.’

‘Yes, well there have been some changes.’

‘What sort of changes?

I stared at him while he made holes in the paper napkin with his fork. At that moment our meals came and all he said was, ‘Eat up.’

Half-way through his meal he continued.

‘After the detox Carla had some counselling. One of the nurses was concerned for her, because she had some disturbing nightmares.’

‘Oh.’

‘They decided to work with Carla to see if there was something troubling her.’

‘What sort of thing?’

‘Well, Kay tells me alcoholics often have destructive drinking bouts when something happens to trigger a past trauma.’

‘Oh. Kay told you this?’

I was suddenly suspicious.

‘I thought Carla didn’t want anything to do with Kay.’

‘Yes, you’re right. But as Kay had worked with Carla previously, she was consulting behind the scenes.’

‘Did Carla know this?’
‘The doctor thought it best not to upset her.’

‘What did they find out?’

‘It was something she never told me. Recently I had a long talk with her mother. You may not know this but Carla had a younger sister.’

‘Gosh, I understood she had a bother but she never said anything about a sister.’

‘When they were young they used to play in the garden. They had lots of secret places. The boundary went down almost to the beach.’

‘What happened?’

‘Well, no one really knows exactly. Seems it was an accident. Tess, was about 5 at the time. She fell from a sandstone ledge and the drop was some 30 metres.’

‘Oh. My God. What an awful thing to carry with you.’

‘Her mother said Carla never really said anything. She became much quieter and was very studious at school.’

‘How did they find out?’

‘Part of her treatment included hypnosis. It came out, and of course the terrible guilt.’

Dan eyes were shining and he blew his nose. I put my hand on his arm.

‘Poor Carla.’ I murmured.

‘Yes. These feelings of guilt came to the surface again when she was involved with the work cover-up.’

‘What cover-up?’

‘The company she was working for tried to avoid paying compensation to some of their employees who’d contracted cancer from the chemicals they’d been handling. Carla was their Public Relations person.’

‘So…so that would explain why she started hitting the bottle so hard.’

I remembered Carla very drunk in the pub one night after work. She had been raving about people being poisoned, but didn’t make a lot of sense.

‘I’m really pleased you told me.’

‘Something else. When I went to get Carla’s overnight bag to take some things to the hospital, I found boxes of empty wine bottles. They were in the storage under the house. I didn’t realise she was drinking so much.’

We ate our cold food in silence. Then I remembered something.

‘What happened about the job? Carla was to have an interview that Thursday.’

Without looking at me, Dan took a mouthful of his wine and shook his head.

‘Helly, I don’t think there was a job.’

‘Really? I can’t believe that.’

‘The HR people at AGH had never had any dealing with a Carla Clooney.’

All I could do was shake my head.

‘And she probably felt guilty about deceiving you so it was easier to have no memory of any of those events.’

Dan paid the bill. He walked me back to my office, promising to let me know how Carla progressed. I felt flat. I couldn’t help wondering whether it was better to wait till Carla contacted me as Dan said, or if I should try to contact her at her Mum’s. Maybe I could talk to her Mum?

I didn’t try to make contact. I came up for air after ten days of working long hours. I’d arranged to meet a friend for lunch. We had decided to get take-away and eat in the park nearby, as the local café was always full.

I had paid for our lunches, Evelyn was chatting to someone outside on the pavement, and I was waiting for the food. At the counter people were three deep, but on the other side a couple was sitting at a table against the wall. Their intimacy caught my attention. The guy had his back to me. He was leaning towards a striking young woman with red hair, his hand caressing her neck. Then he turned to pick up a jar of water. There was no mistaking the handsome profile. It was Dan. I remembered something Carla had said about Kay at dinner that night. She was angry. She’d said ‘Big Red.’ That must be Kay. They weren’t just acquaintances and Carla probably knew.

I took the lunches and hurried out to join Evelyn.

‘Helly, what’s wrong? You look upset.’

‘It’s nothing.’ I answered. ‘I just saw something… very disappointing.’

I looked up at Evelyn. ‘Let’s have lunch. I’m starving.’