'You are the person at the bottom of the page. You are attending an interview to explain why you feel you should be permitted to pass through the Pearly Gates. If you don't believe in Judgment Day — then use your imagination.'
When unfolded, the page revealed the name of a famous person, whether historical, legendary or both.
Here are three of our efforts.
Judge Judy
by Jan Busch
Bursting smashing shocking shouting
sparkling red yellow white blue purple green
lights amongst gold silver frame
stand the Holy Pearly gates
Drifting towards that image,
feet scrapping on the fast disappearing earth.
A sensation of nothing behind, or, on either side.
drawn forward to this ugly bizarre scene.
Pulled up short, feet hefty, arms drooping, head wobbly
eyes large saucers, that won’t close.
Signs everywhere pointing all directions
flashing green/white.
Christians to the centre
Jews to the right
Muslims to the left
Others to the bottom
Lights flashing faster, on off,
panic, where to go, where,
Centre, go to the centre.
In the centre more flashing lights,
Presbyterians to the centre
Roman Catholics to the right
Church of England’s to the left
Others to the bottom.
What, Where, dread increasing, fear.
Big arrow straight to my saucer burning eyes
WRONG WAY
GO BACK TO GATE
A force unseen hurls me flipside
more lights on off, over and over, faster.
Christians to the centre
Jews to the right
Muslims to the left
Others to the bottom.
Enough! I yell from a wordless mouth,
I am JUDGE JUDY.
I am a prominent respected American
I demand to get in.
“We know you, go where you belong.”
This sound, no voice, no person,
just a broad surround sound
muffled yet precise.
Alarm abound, getting jittery
I float in one spot
to the right – Jew – What
Yes! Jew, one of the chosen.
JUSTIFY WHY boomed that sound again.
gapping tongueless hole once my mouth
Well, I’m famous, I deliberate evidence,
demand respect responsibility.
I impart great wisdom, behaviour honesty,
courtesy, decency to all folks.
I maintain a powerful boss to
“who ever” the Court Clerk.
An important feature my decision is final, no appeal.
I tell witness “LOOK AT ME
LOOK AT MY EYES WHEN I’M SPEAKING”
Another aspect of my greatness
is my wealth, I have lots of money,
cars, property, International T.V. Show
And I’m not giving it away.
So Yes I am one of the chosen people,
therefore, I am safe.
I go through the flashing gaudy lights, easy
Again the booming sound from nowhere, that is everywhere
“LOOK AT ME
LOOK AT MY EYE WHEN IAM SPEAKING
NO ROOM AT THE INN FOR YOU”
RASPUTIN’S WISH
by Andrew E Wade
WH0 RINGS THE BELL?
IT IS I OH GOD…CRAVING YOUR FORGIVENESS!
RASPUTIN!
YOU KNOW I CANNOT FORGIVE YOU!
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
I HAVE TOLD YOU SO OFTEN BEFORE!
OH YES…
I REMEMBER. I MUST FIRST FORGIVE MYSELF!
BUT I CAN’T DO THAT GOD!
YOU KNOW YOU CAN. BUT FIRST YOU HAVE TO STOP
HIDING BEHIND YOUR RIDICULOUS DISGUISE…
BUT IT SERVES ME…
IT ONLY SERVES YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A COWARD!
SPEAK THE TRUTH NOW IF YOU DARE!
SPEAK THE TRUTH NOW IF YOU DARE!
NO! I CAN’T!
YOU HAVE TO IF THE WORLD IS TO BE SAVED!
SATAN SHAKES HIS HEAD
THEN I WILL SPEAK IT FOR YOU…
YOU ARE BEELZEBUB. THE DEVIL HIMSELF!
DOWN THROUGH THE AGES YOU HAVE WREAKED HAVOC AND SORROW ON THE WORLD AND YET YOU STILL ASK ME
TO FORGIVE YOU!
GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN!
THE DEVIL KNEELS BEFORE GOD…
P L E A S E…
GET AWAY FROM ME SATAN…NOW!
YOU KNOW I CAN’T DO THAT EVER!
SATAN CONTINUES TO KNEEL.
THEN HE SAYS SOFTLY:
GOD…YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO. YOU KNOW
IT IS TIME FOR CHANGE AND YOU ARE
THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN EFFECT IT!!
SATAN LOOKS UP... A TINY TEAR
TRICKLES DOWN HIS CHEEK…
I ASK YOU TO FORGIVE ME
AS I NOW FORGIVE MYSELF!
THE SKY IS RENT ASUNDER AS
A HUGE LIGHTNING STRIKE
OBLITERATES SATAN
AND THE WORLD IS FOREVER
CHANGED!
Oliver Cromwell Interviewed by St Peter
at the Pearly Gates
Sir, I question your right to interrogate me like this. I am after all Lord Protector of England!
You have the look of a plain working man, not one of those fancy aristocrats. I like that. The circle around your head could even be construed as making you a Roundhead, ha ha ha — if only it didn’t shine so brightly. Are you sure it’s not a crown or a tiara or something of that ilk?
A halo? You’re a — saint? Oh look, we can’t have that, you know. That’s Popery, that is. We don’t hold with that in England. I answer to no saints. No, it’s no good telling me you speak on behalf of God. I’ve heard all that ’divine right’ stuff before. You won’t get far with me if you take that tack. I had the last person who tried it beheaded in the end. A fat lot of good it did him then. No monarchs, and no saints, I say.
What do you mean, beheading people is not a good recommendation to get into Heaven? You have no idea the evil that man did. There was no other way. I was protecting the kingdom, don’t you see? Making it safe for the truly God-fearing.
I beg your pardon? What a strange question — ‘what part of “Thou shalt not kill” do I not understand?’ No, I’m afraid it doesn’t help to be told that your phraseology is from the future because you are in all time and none. Don’t speak to me in riddles, man! I’m a plain soldier, after all.
Well yes, I’m Lord Protector too, but that was at the people’s demand. So was the war and so was the beheading, if it comes to that. And as for that last, the tyrant was properly tried by due process of the law, I’ll have you know. It was an execution, not a murder.
No, NOT like the execution of Christ! What do you take me for? No I am not trying to wash my hands like Pontius Pilate! Don’t you try and trick me with your theology.
Not much theology about going to war? That’s killing too? You paint everything so black, you do.
Yes yes, I acknowledge that I myself have always had a tendency to see things in simple black and white. But truly, I believed I was doing God’s bidding as well as the people’s. What do you mean, ignorance is no excuse? I need no excuse to do the bidding of God.
Oh, that’s below the belt, that is. No, I am not just another Divine Righter. How can you say such a thing? I’m NOTHING LIKE that other individual.
So it seems I’ve failed your test. That’s so unfair!
I was so too fair to Charles. He had every chance to recant but he wouldn’t. In any case, if you’re speaking for God as you claim, surely you would know He is a merciful God.
I had little mercy for Charles, and for those who died in my wars? I could say it was their choice!
OK, OK, so I’m a man who knows no mercy. I disagree, but have it your way. Then, I ask you, how am I to learn mercy except at God’s hand? If He wants to teach me mercy, I beg Him to show it to me, and let me into Heaven.
Oh! Oh, thank you! What a beautiful landscape. It looks rather like I imagine the Garden of Eden to have been. Oh I see, this IS the Garden. There are a lot more people here than I thought there would be. Oh no, it can’t be! Some of them appear to be having a party, and not the kind of quiet, pious celebration I would have expected, either. All that enthusiastic dancing and singing; how can this be?
Eh? Charles — is that YOU? What am I doing here? This is the wrong place! Let me OUT!
